Friends, Family and Relationships

Picking Up the Pieces After Breaking Up

Whether we like it or not, we will always experience breaking up with somebody we value most at least once in our lives or even more, except if you are one of the luckiest people in the world being spared from this scenario. Although breaking up can be unforgettable, it can never be considered as a pleasurable moment in our lives, unless you have longed for this for a long time. The experience may even be traumatic for you that unknowingly, will cause the many changes in your life.

Heartbreaks may mean puzzled emotions—you feel low, angry, depressed, betrayed, alone and many more. You can be trapped with your emotions for a very long time and have difficulty coming out of your shell again. Initially, you are in denial of the fact then you have a lot of questions playing in your mind and most of the times, you are being confronted with the question “What would life be after my break up?” This question will be very tough to answer since all the emotions are still fresh and fragile.

Going through the process of breaking up is by no means an easy thing to do but there is much that can be done if you are just willing to take a try. It may take time but you will later on realize that it is all worth it. After all, it is your life, and you need to get it back. Here are a few pointers to help you mend your broken heart and overcome the pain:

1. Emotional Release. Don’t deprive yourself to grieve over what happened. Cry it all out but never allow yourself to drown along with sorrow. It is okay to do the things you both used to enjoy or do something that will remind you of him or her like cooking, strolling in the park, movie marathons, hanging out in places you have cherished or repeatedly playing your official love song. However, if ever it has been causing you pain, you might as well stop it. Don’t jail yourself with your past too. If talking with your friends will help you recover, go and set a meeting with them, as concealing your feelings will not help but hinder you with the moving on process.

2. Acceptance. After you have let loose of your emotions, it is now time to face the reality that it is over. Reflect on what could possibly have gone wrong because with a realization comes acceptance. Stop dwelling about the situation because by this time also, your friends might be exhausted of hearing your sentiments. You don’t own all the problems in this world and they too, have problems of their own to deal with. Learn from your mistakes and encourage yourself to fight and get going.

3. Keep a distance. If possible, avoid all links with him or her like email, text, calls and even things that prompt you with his or her memory. Now is not the time to make friends with them since you are still vulnerable and the wounds are still fresh. And it doesn’t mean throwing all the things he gave you but instead putting them aside, out of your sight.

4. Learn from the experience. Don’t blame yourself or the other person why things didn’t work out well for both of you but rather try to assess not just the breakup itself but the entire relationship including the good and the bad ones. Use that learning to your advantage so that the next time you enter into a relationship, you are more armed and won’t be committing the same mistakes again.

5. Focus on yourself first. Before starting a new relationship, give time to focus on yourself first. Treat yourself with beauty treatments, a new haircut, clothes, shoes, or bags. Reinvent yourself and continue with existing projects or pastimes that you initiated during those instances when you desired to be busy. Improve yourself because by doing so, you are able to add something to your character. Who knows it may be an opportunity for you to bump into new acquaintances. Try something you have always imagined doing but weren’t given the chance like traveling to various places and engaging in extreme sports.

Keep in mind not to exaggerate socializing so you don’t appear to be the desperate one. Just simply take it easy and take your time. Relax, enjoy, be confident and maintain a positive attitude. With this, you are soon to find the happiness you truly deserve.

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